While preparing for my exams i read two david deida books. On one hand, his development theory was part of my studies, on the other hand i spent far more time with the development stages of relationships than that of the ego. I was obviously fascinated by deida's work.
It all started the first time i heard his name and his theory. i need to admit i was tired, and tipsy, sitting in the classroom, lost my attention long ago - hearing Freud's psychosexual development theory the dozen's time after a long night coupled with a good quantity of drink, one might understand, i was lost. But there did it come. The lecturer started talking about the kind of intimacy i recently got a glimpse of, that deida researched and wrote several books about. i got wide awake, completely focused, although i am still curious where the source of energy might have been as i was on reserve battery. I knew that i want to learn more about this thing that deida calls intimate communion.
I shared my fascination with a good friend of mine, who coincidentally, just ordered one of deida's books. the next day i followed her, and ordered some books written by david deida that seemed interesting to me. now i will share some of his thoughts as well as my own.
on the first page deida clearly states that his books are for men and women who enjoy tangled bodies, open hearts and enlightened minds. this is exactly what i am looking for. this book is clearly FOR ME!
Many of us have experienced "old-style" relationships based on roles of male control and female giving - even if not in our own lives, but in our parent's life we can see this relationship based on mutual dependency, when the man is dependent on the woman emotionally and sexually, while the woman is dependent on the material level.
Most of the people i know have found such relationships evil and wanted something different. Their willingness resulted in the complete opposite of dependence: complete independence - whether single or in a relationship. "Modern style" intimacies are based on independence and fairness. But these 50/50 relationships lack passion. It might feel like two buddies discussing, instead of passionately loving.
But these are not the only options! There is something beyond 50/50, what deida calls intimate communion. it can be experienced when two lovers surrender their boundaries and melt into a single body of passion, they are anything but "in control".
If you are willing to give your true gift and express your true desires, you can create perfect intimacy, moment by moment. This kind of intimacy is something you do, not something you have. It is an on-going practice of sexual union, emotional openness and spiritual trust. It is a practice of love.
It all started the first time i heard his name and his theory. i need to admit i was tired, and tipsy, sitting in the classroom, lost my attention long ago - hearing Freud's psychosexual development theory the dozen's time after a long night coupled with a good quantity of drink, one might understand, i was lost. But there did it come. The lecturer started talking about the kind of intimacy i recently got a glimpse of, that deida researched and wrote several books about. i got wide awake, completely focused, although i am still curious where the source of energy might have been as i was on reserve battery. I knew that i want to learn more about this thing that deida calls intimate communion.
I shared my fascination with a good friend of mine, who coincidentally, just ordered one of deida's books. the next day i followed her, and ordered some books written by david deida that seemed interesting to me. now i will share some of his thoughts as well as my own.
on the first page deida clearly states that his books are for men and women who enjoy tangled bodies, open hearts and enlightened minds. this is exactly what i am looking for. this book is clearly FOR ME!
Many of us have experienced "old-style" relationships based on roles of male control and female giving - even if not in our own lives, but in our parent's life we can see this relationship based on mutual dependency, when the man is dependent on the woman emotionally and sexually, while the woman is dependent on the material level.
Most of the people i know have found such relationships evil and wanted something different. Their willingness resulted in the complete opposite of dependence: complete independence - whether single or in a relationship. "Modern style" intimacies are based on independence and fairness. But these 50/50 relationships lack passion. It might feel like two buddies discussing, instead of passionately loving.
But these are not the only options! There is something beyond 50/50, what deida calls intimate communion. it can be experienced when two lovers surrender their boundaries and melt into a single body of passion, they are anything but "in control".
If you are willing to give your true gift and express your true desires, you can create perfect intimacy, moment by moment. This kind of intimacy is something you do, not something you have. It is an on-going practice of sexual union, emotional openness and spiritual trust. It is a practice of love.
