the least and most u can do is to give urself

It's one of the biggest challenges in life to get in an intimate relationship with another human being.

There is a big contradiction: we all are looking for intimacy, but at the same time we are scared to death even from the thought of it.

Why is it so? Everyone tries to show a nice picture to all the people around, but we know that in the depth there is a shadow self whom we try to suppress, even from ourselves. We do not love and accept ourselves, thus we cannot even believe that another person could accept and love us.
"If he gets to know me, my real self, he would rather run away, he wouldnt like what he sees behind the masques i spent so much time to build up" - we may think - "he would run away, the same way as my father did..."

But we forget one thing. When you get closed to another person, you cannot keep the well-learnt roles for long. You may try to keep a nice colorful masque before your face to cover it, but it will last only for a short while. There will be times when you'll be too tired to keep that masque, and your spouse will see your real face.

If this happens after years, the other one may feel he was cheated. Of course. How would you feel? You've been together (or rather next to each other?) for years, and you recognize only then that you dont even know that person who is sitting next to you. How could that feel? Terrible for sure.

If you really respect your beloved one, the most you can do for him, is to show him who you really are, give completely yourself. From the very beginning. Instead of showing him a picture of a person who you would like to be. I know. It is hard, scary, sometimes even painful. But very rewarding.

I was afraid of such an intimate relationship. I was afraid of giving myself, as I didnt love myself. But then I experienced how it is to stand completely naked before the other person. And it was so great, that I don't want anything else any more. Once I accepted myself in my living existence, and was able to accept my shadow self also, I started to give myself in all my relationships. Without hesitation. Ok, doubts are always coming up, but even with a little hesitation I rather followed the inner voice, my real self. And gave all myself. And that is the least and most you can do...

If you are scared, you can even tell him that. And if you do so, you'll be surprised how deep your relationship can be. You get closer to each other due to the clear and pure communication, and then the two souls get in touch with each other and not two masques converse. That is a whole different universe that can open up for you.