Face your fears

Fear might be devastating at times like this. 

Do you remember when you were a child, you were afraid about monsters appearing of your room at night? Now with adult head, you know that there is nothing to be afraid of in the darkness. But then it was a valid reality, and a devastating one. And your child might be afraid the same way. You wouldn't ridicule your child, to forget about his fear of darkness, and the monster appearing any moment. Neither would you force your child to face his deepest fear without any support. However, you may switch on the light, and make the child move step by step closer to the dark corner of the room, to realise that what he believed to be a monster, is but a small kitty. 

I invite you to face your fears. Let's take the torch and put on the light, targeted to where you heard the noise from. Let us see what is there in the corner. What are you afraid of? I can hear you responding "don't you know? Is it not obvious?" But no, it is not. Everyone has different fears, and have different conditioning, therefore we have different perception about situations. 

We tend to believe that there are limitless fears inside of us, and we tend to put them under the carpet. But I invite you to face your fears. Look them into the eye. When you start listing your fears, you may realize that there is but a definite number of fears. With time, they die out, and there is none more for you to list. 

When you go for a first date, you might think about the worst case scenario: he might be a serial killer. But most of us would have similarly ridiculous fears in our heads. Did it ever happen to you, that the guy you dated ended up being a serial killer? I believe not, otherwise you wouldn't be reading these lines. Our minds tend to run the worst case scenario as that's what fear shows. However, reality is always somewhere between best case ideal, and worst case fear. 

When you face your fears, you might see how ridiculous they can be. You might also realize it is not so devastating, and if the worst case happens, you might have escape routes ready, that would lead the outcome not as bad, as it might seem when you do not dare to look at your fear. 

Instead of allowing the devastating fears weighing you down, please face your fears. Some might be eliminated just by looking at it, some you might have the solution, for others you may wish to look for one. But only by looking your fear into the eye, can you face reality. 

Isolation is a perfect opportunity for self-reflection

People share different ideas about how to cope with lockdown and isolation. But it mostly focuses on exercises, things to learn, movies to watch. Basically ways to distract yourself, make your mind focus on something else, instead of accepting the situation and diving deep into it. That is only another way of filling up your mind with new things, instead of emptying it a bit. Running again, instead of stopping for a second. 

We have been living in a world of constant rush. You wake up for the alarm, rush with breakfast having a quick coffee, run to the office, quick chat with colleagues, then run for a meeting, from one meeting going to another, then take a quick lunch, but maybe have a working lunch or taking a bite at the computer to kill some emails that you couldn't attend to during the day, then continue with some more meetings, and work dinner, run home, take a quick bite, switch on the tv, have a quick shower and go to sleep. Just to continue running the next day the same way. Sounds familiar? Rush, rush, rush. Constantly on the go. No time to stop. And even when you stop, your mind is still on the go. It looks like never getting tired, always talking, always going. 

With being in lock-down, this constant rush is taken out of your reality. You are forced to stop. At least on the outside. You are not allowed to go out of your apartment. But did your mind stop? Or is it still on the go? Do you still have all the to-do-lists, schedules, fears that constantly occupy your mind? Maybe even during your sleep.  

You may use isolation to stop. Meditations are a great way to silence your mind. But when you are forced to stop, it is always a perfect opportunity to reflect. Take a closer look at where you are, what you do, what your choices were in life. I invite you to reflect about your life, your decisions in the past, where those lead you. Some reflection can lead to increased awareness of the self. One may also re-evaluate whether the decisions made years or decades ago are still valid, or some things should be changed. Are you aware of your values and principles? Were your decisions following those? 

Being in isolation, is a perfect time to stop and think about your life, your decisions. Self-reflection is such a powerful tool. You were forced to stop. Before we could move, look at your life, look at yourself. Reflect. See where you are. Only then will you be able to move on. And now you have all the time to look into yourself. Take it as a blessing in disguise, and use the opportunity for your benefit. 

Heaven or hell

Mother Nature is claiming her power everywhere. It seems to me as though the Earth would start to be divided into two different realities. Your reality was always derived from your perception, but with the recent events the difference is becoming more obvious. 

There are those who connect more to the One, experience and spread love to everyone around them. And those who are stressed and freaked out of all the events that are taking place in their closer or more distant surrounding. 

Heaven and hell... while experiencing the same situation outside of us... 

It is up to you, moment by moment, to make a decision whether you wanna experience heaven or hell. Whether you focus on love or you buy into fear. This decision makes all the difference. 

Are you joining heaven? Or you wanna go to hell?

Let us nurture love and connection

As more and more people buy into hysteria, it is becoming more and more crucial to focus our attention on love and connection. Let us all dedicate time various times during the day to focus on love, send gratitude for all the beautiful things we have, make sure you have more happy thoughts than shadowy ones. It is a time when we can decide our future. And not only as individuals, but as a community, and as a human race. We can open our growth to quantum leaps or we can nose-dive into the depth of hell.

Let us focus on love, and not the lack of it.

People gathering together meditating on love can reduce the criminality rate. If we meditate together on love with connecting to the divine we can do miracles. Let us create the new earth based on love and connection. Let us dedicate the coming weeks to send love and blessing to people we love and who are far from us, and those positive feeling return back to us multiplied.

It all starts within us. But as all is one, what we nurture inside of us, grows and reflects back to us from the outer world. What's within is without. 

You may do a small prayer by simply saying : "May he be loved, may he be blessed, may he be happy", it's based on teachings from the course in miracles. Whenever I say this prayer for my beloved, I feel loads of love, my heart is opening immediately, and I feel energised, inspired, totally fabulous, and completely happy. 

Let us nurture love and connection. And there will be more love on the face of earth as well. For everyone to grow and feel happy, be well. 

Welcome to the dawn of the new earth

I am currently in Indonesia, working from home as advised by my organisation. I am not worried about the situation, considering the virus and that affecting my health, whereas I see it clearly that the current events are changing our lives drastically. Governments request their citizens to return back home, hospitals are overwhelmed, currencies are devaluating, companies close down, and small business go bankrupt. And that is only the beginning. 

The optimistic ones talk about how lockdowns are leading towards the earth healing itself. Scientists and activists were urging for decades for reduction of transportation and pollution to mitigate the effects of climate change. Funnily, what we humans couldn't consciously decide for, now a virus is assisting to achieve. Even countries whose leaders claimed that climate change is not real, are now contributing to some positive factors towards the earth healing itself. In Jakarta you can see the blue sky, instead of biting the pollution on a Friday afternoon. 

I sense that the changes coming go way beyond the healing effects. Our lives will be changing completely after this. And not only because of the economic consequences of lockdowns and expected reduction of tourism in the coming years. It's more like the old way is destroyed to the very last bricks, the tower is thorn into pieces, and once the old is completely destroyed, we can build a new reality, that can be based on real human values. It will be such a blessing for the universe. 

It is already a blessing. In our small apartment community, people are already getting closer. Even last week I seldom saw people in the common places, neighbours would hardly greet each other, not to mention starting up a conversation. Then over the weekend the governor encouraged companies to introduce working-from-home policies in the capital, and those living in our apartment building, were put in self-quarantine. These measures were taken much later than in other locations, but already in few days, one may see the positive consequences. In this little place of an apartment building, communities are being built, even if small ones, but people are talking to each other already more than before. And this is only the start, it will only continue more. 

Communities might become the new norm. Instead of herd mentality, and everyone ensuring individual needs being met, we can see humanity showing its face. People already started caring for each other, and good fellowship might become the new norm. 

Instead of top-down approach, eventually we may see bottom-up initiatives, that would reflect more accurately the needs and realities of our society. Instead of following hierarchy, expertise might take over the lead. We need to respect authority and rules that make sense that you can identify with, instead of rebelling and looking for instant gratification, we might reach true freedom. Technology when used smartly, instead of distracting from reality, might be a medium to spread knowledge and bring people with common interest closer together. 

This is only the start. But it will be considered as the start of a new era. We are at the dawn of the new earth, a blessed new time... And it's freaking exciting to be part of such a historical event. To live this through. We are blessed to be living on earth in such a turning point. 

I am not saying it will be easy. It might be difficult. Our world is being destroyed, it's trembling down. And the more you can let go of the old paradigm and adapt to new realities, the more flexible you can be to accept new ways, the easier it will be for you to start the new day. 

We are entering a new era in the history of our times. We are reaching the dawn of the new earth. A blessed new time. It is unknown, it is something completely new waiting for us, and we cannot even comprehend now how new it is. But there is light. If we can rely on the divine, surrender and go with the flow, it will be only easier. 

Grace and grit

Few months ago I started to feel that the environment I work in became toxic. I started to suffer, no longer enjoyed working with my good colleagues, and I got easier annoyed by the bad ones. I felt as if a stone were on my breast, I could hardly breath, my smile disappeared. Waking up in the morning and just thinking that I need to go to the office simply made me sick. I could no longer enjoy the simple things in life as I used to do. I could hardly smile and my face was not radiating love as before. Something went wrong, it was clear. And I wanted to change. I wanted out.

They say that in tough situations you have two options: stay and fight, or leave.

I usually have no problems with fighting. When I see that there is meaning in it, when I can make a difference, I would face handling tough people. But after three years it was just enough. I just grew tired of it, and wanted to leave. Leave everything behind. And I thought, whatever comes, I will take it, it can be only better. So I started applying to different places. Basically I applied everywhere. I didn't care, just out of here.

It was then that I was sent to support the migration response activities in Greece. In the three weeks, I managed to visit the field and attended a distribution. Later a thought hit me. In Hungarian the word "migrant" is routed in the word 'escape'. What I saw was an outside reflection of my inner.

I was escaping myself, too. Completely different circumstances, but nothing much different.

Violence can take so many forms, from aggressive communication to bombing. From physical to different levels of emotional abuse. The better life the migrants are searching is a safe place, where they can live in peace, and can raise their children safely. For me it is a different position where I am exposed to challenge and am respected.

Psychologists consider that when you escape, you do not take responsibility for your life, for yourself. Of course you don't perceive it as an escape and would intellectualize it, but still it can be considered as a childish behaviour. You think it will be better elsewhere, but you may not even think about it consciously. You look at it from one perspective only. You do not analyse the situation from various viewpoints.

Before going forward I need to point out that I don't want to judge the migrants, I couldn't be further from that. They just provided me a learning about myself, about my own escaping.

I know that I acted like a child. I wanted to go to Geneva. I simply had an image in my head. An image where Geneva was Paradise itself. An image where if I get that position, if I get to work there, I will be happy and satisfied, will be surrounded by good friends. I saw only the positives, but didn't see any negatives, my eyes were blindfolded.

Thinking that there I will find a position that will give me the regular challenge that I need. I didn't even think about the fact that it is even more toxic environment than where I am seated in my regular position. We have at least operations, and a complex one that I longed for all these years. We have great colleagues, too, who know what they do. While over there everything is about politics - that I hate. I didn't even consider whether I would like the projects that I would be involved in. When I thought about it in more depth, I had to realise that the position itself couldn't be further from what I want and what I need. Writing policies is not my thing. I can do that, but I like to be exposed to ad hoc requests, doing financial analysis, providing advice. And I am not sure that I would like the environment, the people I work with.

And then the purple fog disappeared.

I know that I acted like a child. I didn't think about options, didn't look at the big picture. I didn't take responsibility, just wanted to take the easy way out. Escaping from situations that are challenging, instead of learning from those, is a childish behaviour. And I am most grateful for being sent here, having seen this, and the possibility to learn about myself before it was too late, before I made a huge mistake.

Grace and grit. You need grit to follow what you have in your head. But there are certain situations when the best decision is to give up pursuing a dream that is not your path any more. In such cases it is not a failure to turn 180 degrees.

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2015. aug. 4.