Not long ago I reached a turning point in my life: I have spent more time with the Red Cross than at the big 4. when such time comes, it is kind of unwritten rule that we reconsider our working life: maybe it's time to move on.
This moment came in my life too. Immediately after my mother's death, i applied to a new position supporting the Ebola operations. By the time I received an invitation for an interview, I changed my mind. I realized that I am in the right place. Why should I then apply to any other position? I am not the kind of person who would escape after the first crisis. Then why would I run away meeting a normal crisis, immediately? Ok, losing one's mother doesn't happen often, but still. It does happen in everyone's life, but not all people runs away to work in Africa. So let's look into it.
I realized that applying was not a sensible decision. Firstly, I couldn't responsibly leave my current position any time within the next three months - our good friend, the year-end closing was just approaching,- whereas it is an emergency position to be filled in asap. Secondly, I want my roots and focus on a part of my life I have been struggling with in the recent years. I don't need any more professional challenge. I found what I need. Well, for the time being. I have the routine, the challenge, a nice atmosphere, kindred colleagues. I do a work I like - a good combination of people and numbers, for an organization that I like - supporting the vulnerable, with people that I like - similar hearted people are all around. I am grateful for using my professional talent in such a place and working with such nice colleagues... What else would I need?
A company is a combination of people who get together to achieve a common goal. Whereas a community is generated from a company through a common experience that grabs the participants out of their solitude. Oftentimes a working place is perceived as a company, but not a community. Whereas each of us desires to belong to a community. And this difference only creates tension and suffering.
What differentiates Red Cross from many other working place - and it could be any NGO, I guess - is that there is not only a common goal that the employees share, but there is a common experience of assisting others. Especially in those places where the actual delivery of support is combined with the office work. Having worked for Red Cross, I did experience supporting the floods operations in the Balkan, earthquake recovery in Haiti and normal development work in various European countries. When one joins Red Cross, they don't only become a member of a company, but they become a member of a community. And this is why it is hard for so many to leave the organization. Or if they once do, in a couple of year's time they would come back. One way or another.
Working in a zone office, it is a bit different. We are working in such a distance from the operations, as such one starts to suffer, as the soul gets in a distance. This is why I sometimes long to go to the field. I know how that is, and I miss having that common experience, which is much more obvious when you are supporting those in need, and you can see every day the immediate effect of the actions you and your organisation does. You know what each of your colleagues do to support those in need, and even if you fulfil a support function, the goal is obvious, but you share that experience as well, and you become a real community. The bonds become as tight as family, or even tighter.
While in the zone office, it is a bit different. When you are sitting behind a desk in a nice building, in a hill looking over the most beautiful European city (ok, i might be a bit biased, but many share my views), in such circumstances, you could be assisting any kind of projects. It could be T-shirt production or business acquisition, and not floods operation or refugee support. Numbers are numbers everywhere. And sometimes it makes me suffer. After extended periods without visiting the field, I start to miss something. Like I would have lost my soul, at least in the workplace.
But then comes another mission, to another place, and I feel that something is different, I experience something common, I see the effect we may have, and then my motivation is back. Now I understand that it is because of that common experience. Feeling a soul in the working place.
Is it a problem that I do not feel it all the time? Probably. But I need to admit that I am lucky having experienced it on the first place. It might be wrong to lose it, but then at least I know what I am looking for. The same way as the orphans may get used to a volunteer's love. "Finally there is someone who loves me unconditionally, cares about me and gives me all i need," thinks the little girl. And then the volunteer needs to return back home, and she suffers. Cannot sleep for weeks and months, cries and there is no one who could give her any comfort.
It might sound tragic to expose a two-year-old orphan to such a trauma, but at least she experienced what real love is. At least there is a print in her head (or rather in her heart) what love is, and it is better to have experienced love than never to be exposed to it.
The same way, I may suffer at times for being far away from the operations, but I utilize my professional knowledge at the best fit, for the organisation's benefit. Will it always be like that? Probably not. But for the time being i am in the right place. And that is important. I can go and look for experiences from time to time when i can share that common experience again. Whether it is distributing food, playing with the kids or implementing a policy, that experience of supporting those in need is what makes a difference.
This moment came in my life too. Immediately after my mother's death, i applied to a new position supporting the Ebola operations. By the time I received an invitation for an interview, I changed my mind. I realized that I am in the right place. Why should I then apply to any other position? I am not the kind of person who would escape after the first crisis. Then why would I run away meeting a normal crisis, immediately? Ok, losing one's mother doesn't happen often, but still. It does happen in everyone's life, but not all people runs away to work in Africa. So let's look into it.
I realized that applying was not a sensible decision. Firstly, I couldn't responsibly leave my current position any time within the next three months - our good friend, the year-end closing was just approaching,- whereas it is an emergency position to be filled in asap. Secondly, I want my roots and focus on a part of my life I have been struggling with in the recent years. I don't need any more professional challenge. I found what I need. Well, for the time being. I have the routine, the challenge, a nice atmosphere, kindred colleagues. I do a work I like - a good combination of people and numbers, for an organization that I like - supporting the vulnerable, with people that I like - similar hearted people are all around. I am grateful for using my professional talent in such a place and working with such nice colleagues... What else would I need?
A company is a combination of people who get together to achieve a common goal. Whereas a community is generated from a company through a common experience that grabs the participants out of their solitude. Oftentimes a working place is perceived as a company, but not a community. Whereas each of us desires to belong to a community. And this difference only creates tension and suffering.
What differentiates Red Cross from many other working place - and it could be any NGO, I guess - is that there is not only a common goal that the employees share, but there is a common experience of assisting others. Especially in those places where the actual delivery of support is combined with the office work. Having worked for Red Cross, I did experience supporting the floods operations in the Balkan, earthquake recovery in Haiti and normal development work in various European countries. When one joins Red Cross, they don't only become a member of a company, but they become a member of a community. And this is why it is hard for so many to leave the organization. Or if they once do, in a couple of year's time they would come back. One way or another.
Working in a zone office, it is a bit different. We are working in such a distance from the operations, as such one starts to suffer, as the soul gets in a distance. This is why I sometimes long to go to the field. I know how that is, and I miss having that common experience, which is much more obvious when you are supporting those in need, and you can see every day the immediate effect of the actions you and your organisation does. You know what each of your colleagues do to support those in need, and even if you fulfil a support function, the goal is obvious, but you share that experience as well, and you become a real community. The bonds become as tight as family, or even tighter.
While in the zone office, it is a bit different. When you are sitting behind a desk in a nice building, in a hill looking over the most beautiful European city (ok, i might be a bit biased, but many share my views), in such circumstances, you could be assisting any kind of projects. It could be T-shirt production or business acquisition, and not floods operation or refugee support. Numbers are numbers everywhere. And sometimes it makes me suffer. After extended periods without visiting the field, I start to miss something. Like I would have lost my soul, at least in the workplace.
But then comes another mission, to another place, and I feel that something is different, I experience something common, I see the effect we may have, and then my motivation is back. Now I understand that it is because of that common experience. Feeling a soul in the working place.
Is it a problem that I do not feel it all the time? Probably. But I need to admit that I am lucky having experienced it on the first place. It might be wrong to lose it, but then at least I know what I am looking for. The same way as the orphans may get used to a volunteer's love. "Finally there is someone who loves me unconditionally, cares about me and gives me all i need," thinks the little girl. And then the volunteer needs to return back home, and she suffers. Cannot sleep for weeks and months, cries and there is no one who could give her any comfort.
It might sound tragic to expose a two-year-old orphan to such a trauma, but at least she experienced what real love is. At least there is a print in her head (or rather in her heart) what love is, and it is better to have experienced love than never to be exposed to it.
The same way, I may suffer at times for being far away from the operations, but I utilize my professional knowledge at the best fit, for the organisation's benefit. Will it always be like that? Probably not. But for the time being i am in the right place. And that is important. I can go and look for experiences from time to time when i can share that common experience again. Whether it is distributing food, playing with the kids or implementing a policy, that experience of supporting those in need is what makes a difference.
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