mistakes

In this weekend i saw some movies as i wanted to be with my parents and they were sitting at the tv, of course as a usual family. the movies showed me the mistake that a lot of people make in their lives. The best example is this recent one: 'a room with view'.

In the beginning of the last century an aristocrat girl fell in love with the son of a journalist. However, her family, to be precise her aunt didnt allow this love and escaped her cousin. To meet her aunt's and the overall social expectations the girl used supression and later repression regarding the love she felt for that young boy and wanted to marry a gentleman of her class.
Later everyone recognized that she is not herself and just acts the way as it is required by his gentleman fiance. Luckily the inner emotions found some path towards her conscious part even before the wedding and she split up. Although she still didnt want to admit her feelings to herself, a frank conversation made her realize that she is in love. and there was a happy ending.

In life it doesnt always happen this way. Whatever emotion or desire we repress or supress (depending on whether your consious or unconscious part starts the action) it takes a lot of energy to keep it under surface. after a while some smell comes out of the bin or the bin explodes when the pressure is too high and then you have no escape, the undesired emotion is just there in front of you. But usually it happens in an unexpected timing: using the movie example you are already with married someone you never ever loved. Luckily back then long engagement periods were usual, now there are plenty of undesired marriages and later divorces (if the child is lucky enough, if there is any). I heard it so many times that a boy or man marries a girl just because they have been together so long, she deserves it already or that is what people expect from him or even worse. Great. Good luck.

You should marry the one who is perfectly for you. I dont mean that there is one single person with whom you can spend your entire life. there might be several ones who might be that one in that single moment. But you feel it right from the beginning that you could spend your entire life with that person. It might change later, if you change in completely different directions but there is someone who is your perfect fellow-walker on the path of life. There are people who doesnt wish you to be different or change you and just love you the way you are. There are people with whom you complement each other. Who has the same rhythm in life as you do. You should find that person.

If you walk your way with someone like that then you can enjoy life even better then when you just follow your own path alone. There are so many people who cannot enjoy being alone, they always feel lonely. But you are never alone. And until you cannot enjoy being alone you can hardly enjoy being with someone either. And it is worse sitting next to a lover and being lonely than being on your own.